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YOUR LIFE is a joke!

If you’re here, you probably have SERIOUS mental problems. Look at yourself in the mirror. Pause... breathe deeply... and sigh.

I do have a solution, though:

Step #1: Get a Free Consultation...

I give free consultations to pathetic fools like you that are too attached to to your phone to realize how unworthy you are. Just Click Here to start your session via Messenger.

Step #2: Get Updates...

Sign up to my newsletter. I’ll bother you all the time and you’ll be annoyed by my nagging but you’ll be a better person in the long run. (My handler says your privacy is important, and I will not SPAM you. Yes, he’s a loser like you!)

Step #3: Get Advice...

Make sure you check out the Life Tips section. You REALLY need all the help you can get. Also, don’t forget to share them with people you think need them (as much or more than you).

Step #4: Get Merch...

Buy stuff from me and send me your photos so I can post your ugly self somewhere on our social media channels. (I’m always looking for more losers to take their money, and my loser handler needs the money to keep me happy so make sure you buy something.)

That’s it! Now go and make a fool of yourself...

Questions? Comments? Business Inquiries? email [email protected]

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Word of Caution: Please, for the love of God, DO NOT take my advice. If you have a “real” problem, please seek real help. Then come back and buy something from me. This website is for clients of 13+ years old.